Benzodiazepines Withdrawal.

Benzodiazepine Withdrawals
I am having a hard time with a long-acting benzodiazepine, namely diazepam.I am with back with my girlfriend, Kim and like I said I will not have another girl in my life because she is sweet. Just got 2 bunnies today, rabbits with her and they are really cute. I will be posting pictures of them soon as I left my digital camera in my parents' house. My parents just came from a trip to China and my dad is really in a bad mood including my mom. Called Kim this afternoon and she was nice enough to pay for my food and drinks.Anyway, she is the nicest girl I ever met in my life and will not go back to my old lifestyle of changing girlfriends now and then. Cheers. From Act1

Sad

Yesterday and today I have not slept and it was because I am having a dispute with my Girlfriend Just over SGD$50Dollars. (Err... the day before yesterday.) Sorry because I am getting disorientated .....I think she is a financial Crises, Because I didn't owe her any money in a way because my Dad had already put SGD$200 in her RHB Bank account to last her a week.(I did take some money from her plus transport 50?) That will be $800 dollars for half a room's rent! I should be staying in her house but I though bring her to my parent's house would be fun. My Dad has also instructed my uncle to give me SGD$40 Dollars daily for my personal necessity for the week. The Day after at about 1000hrs She ask me to follow her home to take some cloths for her daily work...???All in all to concise things she ask me to leave her home and the time was about 0012hrs .I had to go home alone.

The Way Home

It is so short and yet so long . Alone now I feel at ease ......

Nokia 6300 2 megapixel Review

Nokia 6300 2 megapixel Camera Review

This is a Short clip of the Cell Phone I use to take these pictures below


I decided to do a review on the Nokia 6300 2 Mega pixel Cell Phone.


This Pictures are taken with the trusty cell phone.

As you can see the pictures are clear .
Key features, Compact modern design featuring sophisticated stainless-steel covers, glossy black finish, and rounded edges Catch and keep those treasured moments with the 2 megapixel with 8x digital zoom

The settings are put to fine 800x400.but no has no flash and autofocus.

Lighter Review

Light-emitting diode lighter


I got this lighter for only a dollar from a shop called A.J Mart . I has 4 LEDs (Red, Blue and White) It is very useful for clubbing.

Withdrawal

I am happy to get my job back which I will not mention for my safety but I may be starting a new blog about my job. I will jot my daily activities and work down. I feel that I am in Amsterdam after returning from my girlfriend's house because prostitution, drugs and illegal gambling are rampant

My dearest Daniel, whatever you may think our stage of relationship is in right now, YOU BETTER STOP!!!!!!!!!! TAKING THOSE DAMN DRUGS OR I WILL LEAVE YOU. So, for my sake and my sanity as well as your parents' sanity, I SAY PLEASE, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP YOUR NONSENSE DRUG taking. This is not normal life. Work at your job, make good friends and be a good person. Please, for goodness sake. FROM KIM

Codeine addict

A Video

This is a Short clip of myself .aboult me Again

A Viedo

Hi speed Connection needed to watch this video

To the Movies

DELTA

A Picture my Girlfriend Thinks it is Nice

My Lover

Me and my Girl friend

My girlfriend Kim brought to hospital today due to some unfortunate events that led to barbaric violence and I did not fight back. As for me I promised her I will not fight again and to follow what the bible says(influnce by her). She brought me to the hospital and found out my nose was fractured.All in all She is the only girl that I can die for. No doubt about it.

Me having a X-Ray Done

The flim results.And found that the bone was fractured.

The doctor putting a "plaster" in the process of puting on a splint

Putting more medical plasters .....

splint Done.

Done!!

The effects of going agains the law

The Effects of taking Drug

I was in a place in Singapore that I shall not disclose that takes lots of over the counter drugs .I Happen to meet him when I was having a chough also and decided to get it. But all I know that he is an addicted to it base on what I seen in the past (Taking 5 120mls) Daily. This is the result of 8 minimum years of abuse getting off it and back on again.(It fucks the chemicals in the brain as because there is a lot of chemical changing taking place when a codeine addict off this substance.(Takes about 2 weeks for psychical withdrawals and 1 Year for psychological to the Normal Again!)To put things simple once they continue their routine habits of detoxifications again the chemical in the brain gets mess up the mine

After note: The video has to be removed due to the privacy of the individual.-

Mirror Taking One

Mirror taking One

This is me with a photo of myself taking in front of a mirror.I know it is already old school but I still love it.I donot have a tripot so taking a full view of myself it hard.

Rush and Ugly

Rushing and Ugly (looking like a Freak)

I am rushing to my Girlfriend`s place and I really look ugly. This it the true me.....Ugly)lag off sleep and rest.

and to make things worst the driver is really so Dam slow.

Anti-Depression Pills

Depression

I am starting to take Antidepressant called Remeron due to my Borderline personality disorder.(I just put the blame on that
just not to confuse things?!)

I have to take two tabs daily and it makes me happy. Very happy.... .It may be just a placebo effect I am experiencing.
Afterword:I realise it is not a SSRI or a tricyclic But a tetracyclic.Click Here to read more of this Drug.

The View

I am very confused just confused.I look like shit now.

Scattered

I could not believe that I can for in love again from the last time I broke up with my ex-girlfriend.Been cheated too many times but I met somebody whom I brought on an adventure ride but she forgave me and still loves me.She cooked dinner for me again today even though she was not in the mood too. I dragged her to a LAN station in the middle of the night and she didn't mind even though she is a lawyer and not used to this.She loves me so much I can't believe it.I am feeling a bit guilty now for bringing her mind to adventure rides resulting in her getting into depression. But she worked her mind out of depression and fell in love with me again with the new me.

Kim I want to tell you that you are such a nice girl and I will never think twice to “end all if you leave me." I love you kim eternity.......got to stop my netcafe time is up.Back to the Range

I am Depress

I am in Pain

I am so stress these few days because my girlfirend is facing a a very depressive episode .She is on the bed most of the time.And notice that she sleeps well and night but have the first stage of rapid eye movement sleep (R.E.M 1) sleep in the afternoon.She can put the blame on.I am Sorry Kim

Friend?

Chilling out

I decided to chill out after my girlfriend was sick-spend some time looking for her medication but could not. I was so angry and called some of my acquaintences out for a drink. The funny thing is I cannot remember even their names even though I have known them
for quite some time.(silly me).

This is one of the acquaintances I could
communicate with well.

Love

The Love Of My Live

ME Thinking ................

I have been having a lot of thoughts in my mind and I decided that Kim will be my love in my life forever till I die.
AFTER NOTE:/Please Click on the first picture where I was. It is her bed room... From there you can see that she is a really devoted Cristian

Computers

Today I am am with Kim again. I have been spending lots of time with her these few days .She woke up and she looks very gloomy to me.I hope she is ok cuz I really care for her.. Heermmm

My friend`s place

I have been staying at my friends these few days.Its 3:40am in the morning and I still can`t sleep.

A photo with a DJ

The photo of the DJ of a Mandarin station
Update:I am not going out with him because of some personal reasons

All mess up

I got to my friends home and found out the everything is in a mess.Took me some time to get it working.(try and error)Just joking.

The Break up

I feel really sad.I am useless good for nothing and stupit

Down Graded

I feel like puking today. I went to visit a friend of mind and I relished that a lot of patents were downgraded. It is not because of any financial problem but it is due more about the behavior each patients conduct themselves. As for example I was caught smocking in the ward and I was downgraded to a B2 class ward. What the _ _ _ _! We pay more than 4 to 5 k just to stay in a cozy place or ward! Any way I feel sad that one of the youngest female patients was just downgraded today ! AS for me I was not allowed to stay in the ward anymore.

Outing with a Lawyer

I have been going out with a friend of mine who is a lawyer. The only problem is she keeps thinking I am an undercover police??This is not the first time people think about me. Do I have the look of a cop??Anyway she is older than me and things may not work out as it seems.I really hope she can say I am just a normal guy with out any dealings with any law enforcement agents.Anyway I feel so sad cuz I was accuse of taking drugs into the ward。I know no one likes a drug addict.should I kill myself??and go to hell? .I know I and not weak. SO I decided to call the CNB. I really feel I am in Amsterdam where drugs like weeb is rolled and smock freely

Good workman never blams his tools

I have learn to use old sound modules and VST.I Do not have a good setup and even my C.P.U don`t have a side panel Using CRT is the way to go.but My Dad got a LCD for me.I love the feeling of using a CRT. But my computer keeps getting overheated and it hangs, So I got myself more fans to cool my workhorse.
I went to see the Doctor today and he said I am fitter and stronger.But I aways chill out with Benzodiazepines. Wicked!
Anyway my keyboard will be the ones normal people use for typing to play the leads for my music .

Counter Strike

Counter strike

I spent my night playing counterstrike I know it is lame but it is better than being a losser but I am aready one

Motif

Motif is my dream keyboard for my music. But it the Price is way off.I wish I can buy the motif keyboard some day.

In front of my Computer

I need a new setup!!!!!!(central server...)By the Way this is not my setup.I am not that good in computers.Climbing up the telephone looking for phone lines to get online and secure a network...... I have stop doing that.

Just Out from Hospital

I just came out from hospital today I was staying for a week and can`t wait to get out. I was in a A class ward but I was downgraded to a b class because of somcking in the doctor`s room

Doing the Reverb is a task

I spent most of last night doing the reverb and the sound for my composition.It is just the frame before I do the finishing touches to music I had in mind on my DAW.AS you can see it is done on my Electone after composing it on the Piano.It should be done in a months time as I will be away.

SGD$5.00 Cigarettes

Cigarettes For SGD$5.00!

I Got a pack of Cigarettes today.(which I shall not disclose the place for the safety of the seller)For SGD$5.00.


I don`t really like the taste and the flavor is not as good as the ones from Switzerland and even the real class A from USA.(SO far the ones from Switzerland is the best in therms of flavour and aroma)I will think twice about getting these again.But for the price it is preety Good.

Net Cafe

I am now in the Netcafe which I shall not name. I get irradiated when I read Hi Speed Internet being posted on the front panel when it is not fast at
all

He is really a good electone

This is a good example of a piece being train under intensive drill practice. I can`t do that even.

Promise are meant to be broken

Promises are meant to be broken
I have not been sleeping well these few days the reason is I am a disgrace to my family and I can't go to Malaysia with them.(as my mum had promise me) I feel so left out. (An unwanted child who only gets money for love.)It feels horrible. That's what cause of me to be so depress and irritated these few weeks or days. My mum wants me to be the perfect child when I was young and now I am like shit. I have tried to be who I am but my mum lock me out of the house. No clubbing etc........(I want to be the real me but I can't aways wanting to mold me into what she likes)But after being molded by her she still find faults in me. That was many many years ago. But I am happy that my cyberspace friends are concern about me.(having tears in my eyes now...but big boys don't cry telling myself now .)Anyway I too sick to blog at this moment.
Personal Note :The other Post has the unreal time back to the air ship.(I am following the Matrix theme:)

Mixture with burn paper taste

Mixture with burn paper taste
Today I drank purple drank again and I tasted there was the taste of Burn paper.I felt a bit uncomfortable because in Singapore this is The Ghost festival.I hope it will be nothing to do with any spells.I know I am paranoid but it better to play save.Anyway I view it as a blessing so as not worry about it.

Sorry

I am a loser. Thats what I am. Creating problems and not being able to solve them and saying things before thinking.So If I had offended anyone Please Forgive me. I am just Plan Crazy.

My Dream setup

My Dream Setup

I wish I have this computer setup is saw in a hospital.Dual Led screen is so so neat.

Trap

Today I feel depress. I am at home alone with my Grandmother I can't imagine myself being depended on substance. It is not easy ..........

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE
THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE:
COURAGE TO CHANGE THOSE
THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM
TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

Update:I went to the net cafe for an hour after eaten my brunch....and took some mixture for my cough.(ermm)Feeling sleepy now as I type this.But at least I am not as depress like before.Maybe the Serotonin receptors and the Dopamine hormones are chemically changed.

Viruse on The brand New Dell computer

Viruse Found !!
I found 3 Viruse on my Dad`s brand new Dell computer Today.One was clean but the other two was unable to heal And the worst thing is that the file thats was infected was FruityLoops studio 7 which I intented to copy into my 80G potable harddisk to transfer it into the Computer I Used for my music production.(my DAW workhorse). With God grace I had not transfer it to my system.(my higher power is kind)Anyway I can`t delete the file also.Just cross my fingers it does not do any harm to my Dad`s PC.

Depress?

I will not Give Up
I have already taken a long break from my music projects. After having Streptococcus A I had to take time to learn how to use a pencil to write .I was depress because the years of intensive drill training on the Electone and Piano had gone to waste. I can still play simple songs but doing fast
Note(♪♪)Runs is difficult .Playing Semiquavers at 140BPM(
Beats per minute) 4/4 is impossible for me .But I am slowing picking up again.

DAW

MY DAW
I have the temptation to use my Digital Audio Workstation for my music use to get to the internet. But I keep reminding myself that it`s a big no no.

Chilling out the old school way?

Today I decided to spent my time chilling out in a net cafe after having slept enough . I know it is kind of lame but I hope to past my time playing Games like Counter Strike(just hoping to perk myself up). There is comics here so it pretty ok .But it is still getting a bit Dry.....

Outing with my Dad

I went out with my Dad and to get a new portable Hard Disk.We also took a look at some casing for my old Lain li casing for my Digital workstation .My Dad really loves me. I really can feel it.

Booz

Two bottles of carlsberg and then surf the net. So relaxing. I wish I have the time to do this .But I know I will be really really addicted to them.(let alone myself,who is having a problem with Codeine and Benzodiazepines.)Anyway I Love the feeling so much, especially when you are chilling out on the computer.My parents are against me drinking because my mum had an alcoholic Dad she grew up with.

Time?

I am at the net cafe again doing my blog.How happy I can see my blog improving slowly. But lots and lots of improvements to make

I am at a lost

Today I did not see my online brother.I really miss him Caz he is so so perfect.