I am more confident

I was surprise that my other half wrote this in my note book. It is ment for my ideas I have. Like music and inmovative things running through my brain. 

After Note: The picture has black spots due to the camera lens.

Move On in life

I have to have Self Control

I have to tell myself that what I do have it's own consequences. I have to have more inside of myself.

SAFRA

I am now in Toa payoh SAFRA which is open to public unless at some places like the gym etc... . There is a free wifi where every one can use. I got to move on and let the past behind.

I am not a undercover.

I do not really know how to start this post. But as for me, I say life is paradox. I know I've offended some people and I have shown that I have changed. As you now know, I confess that I am a music composer. This is my means of income. I hope you guys can allow me to gain back my profession as I am always a very low profile type in the music scene.

The clean way to gain energy

I am now trying to get energy the clean way. The combination of Glucose, Redbull and vitamin B complex. Not U.N war yea.... (just joking lar).

Net Cafe

I just came back from Geylang"s net cafe. Using the system there is fun as there is a lot of attractions . The ambience there is crowded and that gives me the motivation to surf the net.

Stopping phentermine

I have stopped taking phentermine for the last 1 month. Phentermine as one knows is closely related to Amphetamine "family" . It has caused me to have a rebound effect of eating more than usual. I can't blame the doctors for this as I abuse it as in I do not follow the prescription they gave me. For example, they said to take one a day. I take much more than that. I know that this is like a replacement for ADHD I feel. 

As what my parents said (I have ADHD). I know it is not a replacement for Ritalin but I am cornered by the doctors, I do not know why the doctors want me to be instituted in a mental hospital as I do not have any psychotic illness or pose a danger to the public.

Every time they said that I have borderline personality disorder but from what I view it is not an excuse to take substances to make me feel less "empty". 

I may be quite good-looking like what people say but I am not promiscuous. I know I have given threats to people but it is because of what they did.  I may have been mistakenly wrongly accused people but that is out of anger (utterly sorry). And I know that Singapore is a lawful country and what I do has its own. consequences

Thinking of rooting my Android

I am using a Samsung note 1. Thinking of learning how to Overclock it so it will be faster. I decided not to because there are alot of cons by doing it, like battery consumption, processor damage by over heating (if one is not exprience) ect... I decided never to try it.

Afternote:There is a trend to buy a slower android and than root it so it is like having a person using a note 2 = to buying a Samsung note 3.

3am in the morning

It is aboult 3am in the morning and I am not asleep. I have been sleeping for aboult 7 hours lately and I got only 3hrs last night. Felt like going to do some Photograthy but my main camera is not working. I am still not used to the thought of using a smart phone's camera. But I may have to make do. I only use it for my blog.

Connection to DF16

I am using a non 5g signal and was put back to the normal old one anyway there must be a reason for this. I do not want to make things difficult for people and will stick to the connection.
After Note:I am just a rookie with computers sorry.

It is 2:42am and chilling out at home.

I know it is a Saturday "night" and I am at home with my wife. I know it is preety lame  especially it is closing to Christmas. But when chash flow is low we have left with no choice. The funny thing is we are online together.I know that I have to behave and I will.

I have been eating alot.

I have been binging  on food lately. I need to tell myself to to have self control. I can't be lazy as age is catching up.....but anyway there is a think called memory where once I was fit, doing work ups will get my frame back again faster. I am not sure if it is true. Swimming it is best I belive.

Sleep

I have been taking Valium (Diazepam) for a long time pluse minus 15 fiften years. I have so called reduce my intake alot, and it is not easy. I have a problem with my mind but it is not an excuse to consume it in large amounts. I know it is name a mother's little helper, but it is a no no for taking it when I am stress.

Trazodone

I am on this med for my sleep. It work wonders as it knocks me up. It is also non ab usable but it may have withdrawal effects when one stop instantaneously.

DDR 2 Ram

I am now in Sim lim square happen to think of getting some Ram for my trusty Computer. I decided not to purchase it as I just should be contented  with the amount of Ram my desktop has. It is also expensive as mind is a DDR2 type because it is going to be off the shelf(old type). 

Is the world coming to an end

I hate to say that time is running up......... But money is the bait

Adrian LaMo

So far the new laptop has gone 24+ hours without some sort of catastrophic failure. That's, like, a record this year.

— Adrián Lamo (@6) November 24, 2015

The hard times

Hi just to go into the context of this video. basically I am living in a very small apartment with my wife and I do not have any space to put my music hardware. I believe in combining hardware and soft synth together to produce either ballads or ground-breaking tracks.

To be frank with you I used to be recording music on my digital Audio tape. But resort to using a hand phone to record the music I sketch out. I realize that all the best parts and the main theme of the music were taken away.Its like for me when I compose music it comes in a spur of the moment where composing music as fast as possible but with substance.
I suspect that someone is taking away the best of me even though after suffering a fractured finger that I shall not talk about it.

I believe that time is coming up and I will not emphasise on particular why this is happening. But all I can say is this is the last days. For me getting in the music industry was extremely difficult. In the beginning I still remember my mentor and boss Sunkist said that my arrangement was like shit. There was a breakthrough in my music arrangement few years ago that causes me to do ground-breaking tracks like dance. I know that I have a lot to improve if I cannot be a performer I will try to be a dee jay. That's all that I can say.

Of course, there are certain things that are mystical like when I was younger my left hand was extremely fast and now its clumsy. Thinking of my fractured finger causes me to be extremely depressed but I got to overcome this. It is just like the feeling of having a finger that is chopped off and my friend that told me to take care of my fingers is now diminished for the time being. He hit the billboard as I call him my senior I do not criticise or put down people just because they have a prison record. All I know is that they did a ground-breaking that hit the billboard and at that time I was just extremely young. Cheers guys. Wish me luck.